Personal essays
On making the changes you know you need to make.
Nudge
I came back from Apple’s Developer conference feeling re-energized and refreshed.
It’s the people.
As an introvert, my energy is drained by big crowds of people so I spend the week meeting with people in small groups. Often it’s just me and one other person catching up over coffee.
One friend was telling me of the impact one of my keynotes had on him.
He’d known for a while that he needed to make big changes in his life and something in my talk resonated with him and he made them.
Now, less than a year later, his job, his relationship, and his living situation are all changed.
Despite him thanking me for the push - I did nothing.
He knew what to do.
Your watch
One of the many things that Kim did for me, was she told me when it was time to move on.
You know by now that I stay in things too long.
My friend Chris used to say it was because I thought I could fix things.
Whatever the reason, Kim would say, “you need to find another job.”
It’s not that she had particular insight into the job and it’s requirements. She saw that I was unhappy. She saw that I was ready to move on from the job.
In a way, she was giving me permission.
In a way, she was giving me a push.
In a way, she was showing me myself.
It’s that old joke that a consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is.
A friend, a therapist, a colleague looks at you to tell you what you already know you should do.
Go ahead
This year I went to be near Apple’s conference to figure out what I should do next.
I continue to write books even though the money has gone out of them.
For years I’ve written books for me - they’re a great way for me to learn a new topic in depth. A side result for my business has been that companies then bring me in to do private training. That seems to have gone away or largely diminished. Companies seem to be providing the employees they haven’t laid off with tokens instead of training.
I told my younger friends that if they can hold on, I think there will be high-paying work for them in the future. As companies reduce the number of programmers, junior positions will disappear and universities will produce fewer Computer Science graduates. There will be a need for highly skilled programmers and analysts - but it will take a while for that to happen.
At my age, I’m unlikely to benefit from this.
So what do I do?
I’ve talked about producing video courses but the money seems to have gone out of that market as well.
I’m thinking of working on my drawing skills and turning some of my keynotes in to books or maybe write that Calculus or Statistics book.
After my coffee companion has told me how my talk gave him the nudge to do what needed to be done, he offered to do the same for me.
I too need to make decisions about my work, my relationship, and my living situation. Do I stay where I am or leave the country? If I leave the country where do I go? If I don’t leave the country where do I go.
My friend gave me the advice he was given.
“You know what you need to do,” he said. “I can give you the words you need to say to make the changes you need to make - but you know them.”
I know them.
For you and your decisions - you know them.
Say it.
Essay from Dim Sum Thinking Newsletter 326. Read the rest of the Newsletter or subscribe