Personal essays
On understanding what is needed for understanding
Poses
Yesterday I took a yoga class from Gina.
It was a small class - maybe only ten of us - so instead of positioning herself at the front, she decided to set up way over on the side.
Every once in a while she’d call out a position we were supposed to move into and I’d glance over to get a clue.
I couldn’t always see her.
Mostly I noted at how whatever limb she wanted us to raise or point in a certain direction, hers was perfectly raised and pointed in that direction.
At one point she told us to do a standing split.
I bent over with my hands roughly framing my left foot. Glancing over I saw that this was “roughly” correct - though “framing” meant something different to Gina and me.
The right foot was supposed to be extended behind us in the air.
Mine was stretched roughly in the direction of the back wall while hers was pointed at the ceiling.
I tried to raise mine further. I’m still learning and still have a long way to go. I love having something to strive for.
The challenge
Then Gina told us to take the top leg and tuck it so that that knee was behind the front knee.
“Oh,” I thought, “we did this with Deb. I know what to do.”
And I started to do that.
But Gina continued her instructions and told us to end in a seated twist.
I tried.
The people around me tried.
We each came up with our own version of what we should do.
None of our legs were in the same place as each other and we weren’t even twisted in the same direction.
The guy behind me just waited patiently for the next position to be called out.
I stretched my head to see what Gina was doing but I couldn’t see her.
We did the same sequence on the other side and then repeated it another two times on each side.
Each time I tried something different and I did notice that many of the people around me started agreeing with each other on where there bodies should go.
The guy behind me voted to abstain each time.
He wasn’t wrong.
Physics
Dave’s been working on my house lately.
I called him in to repair a vinyl shutter that tore off the front of my house during a wind and ice storm in January.
While he was there we kept identifying other tasks that needed doing and he painted my garage, repaired a door, replaced some downspouts, fixed my gutters, and replaced the shutter.
My house looks much better. There are many things I’ve let go since Kim died and I owe my neighbors something better to look at.
Dave and I chat now and then while he’s over. He studied Math and Physics and so we sometimes talk about those topics while we solve the world’s problems.
He dropped three books off for me to check out. With many advanced texts I can make it through the introduction and often the first chapter.
As I told Dave, “I struggled to make it through the first ten pages.”
“Which one?” he asked.
“All of them.”
I gave it a good try but there was enough assumed knowledge of Physics and I just don’t have it. One book started by comparing S gradient T with just S and noted why they were fundamentally different.
I have no idea what S or S gradient T is - not even roughly - and there was no clue given.
It told me this book isn’t for me and so I tried the next one.
Just
After yoga class, I returned the blocks to the front of the room.
I’m still learning and have a long way to go. Blocks help raise the floor enough that I have a chance of moving my back leg under me to the front. When it actually works, no one is more surprised than me.
I rolled up the purple yoga mat that Maggie gave me in December and headed for the door.
I stopped and thanked Gina. I always stop and thank the teacher.
She asked how it went and so I told her that I hadn’t understood how to get from standing split to seated twist.
“Oh,” she said, and moved over to her mat.
She put her hands down and perfectly framed her left foot. She raised her right foot so that it stretched toward the ceiling.
She looked up at me and said, “then you just lower your leg, sit down, and twist.”
And then she did it.
She looked at me and smiled and nodded.
I smiled and said, “Just” and thanked her.
For now that move is S gradient T but I’m determined to learn it - roughly.
Essay from Dim Sum Thinking Newsletter 319. Read the rest of the Newsletter or subscribe