Personal essays
The art of noticing
Other people’s errors
I hate when I read something that mixes up “your” and “you’re” or “its” and “it’s”.
“But Daniel,” you say, “your essays (or is that you’re) often make those sorts of mistakes.”
I know.
It bothers me.
I write the essays and I proofread them but I just don’t seem to see these mistakes in my own prose the way they call out to me and smack me over the head in other people’s prose.
It’s not that it’s difficult. “Your” refers to something that belongs to you: your computer, your shoes, or your fabulous sense of humor.
“You’re”, on the other hand, is a simple contraction of you are: you’re hungry, you’re in trouble, or you’re out of your mind. (see, that’s you’re and your in the same phrase.)
As Robbie Burns wrote to a louse, it would be great to be given the gift “To see oursels as ithers see us”
I’m sure someone emailed the great poet to complain that he spelled “ourself” and “others” incorrectly.
Inclusive
So I was in Spain last week at NSSpain and I joined a half-filled table with four Spanish people.
I was prepared to enjoy my meal and not say anything but they immediately started speaking English to include me.
Three people speaking their own language - stopped and spoke in a second or third language to be more welcoming.
I can’t imagine the reverse happening in the US. Forget that our lack of facility with other languages led to the famous joke, “what do you call someone who speaks three languages?”
“Tri-lingual.”
“What do you call someone who speaks two languages?”
“Bi-lingual.”
“What do you call someone who speaks one language?”
“American.”
But even if we could change to another language, we would have to notice that the person who joined us was not able to participate.
Numbers
One of the many racist GOP attacks on Vice President Harris is that she “turned black” when it was convenient to her.
I don’t want to talk about all the ways in which this is both stupid and insulting at the same time.
I’ve told the following story before.
When I was a young teacher, my mentor took me to have lunch with the Harlem Boys Choir.
I was the only white person in the room.
I felt it.
My mentor asked me about it afterwards. “Were you aware that you were white?” he asked.
I was. Every minute I was there.
I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I didn’t feel threatened in any way. I didn’t feel that I didn’t belong.
But I felt white. So white. I felt somehow that I represented white people to the others in the room.
My mentor smiled and said, “for the most part, they didn’t notice.”
I looked at him quizzically and he said, “they noticed, but then they didn’t.”
Awareness
So when did Harris “turn black”?
One of the pieces of evidence offered is that she did an Indian cooking video with Mindy Kahling.
But, as in so many of the right wing slurs, they miss the part in the video where Harris says that this reminds her of one half of her family.
She’s not “not black” at that moment, she is celebrating the half of her heritage that the food represented.
When she went to an HBCU she may not have been celebrating her blackness, but she certainly wasn’t hiding from it. She was embracing it in a very public way.
I can’t imagine that she doesn’t feel like a woman, like a black person, and like an Asian person at many moments in her professional career when she looks around and only sees white men around her.
It’s why so many urged her to balance the ticket (DEI anyone) with a straight, white, male.
I have no idea but I would speculate that she feels her blackness when she’s surrounded by Indians and feels her Indian heritage when surrounded by Black people.
I’m not saying she feels uncomfortable, threatened, or that she doesn’t belong.
I’m saying that she’s aware of her heritage and didn’t suddenly discover she was black, Indian, or a woman.
Essay from Dim Sum Thinking Newsletter 235. Read the rest of the Newsletter or subscribe