Personal essays
My third word for 2023
Intimacy
My headache started to break this morning. Between the jet lag from traveling to and from Singapore and the head cold, I’ve felt out of it since returning Saturday night.
And yet - I’m so glad I went. There is something magical about our community. I loved conversations during breaks with the attendees and hanging out with different speakers on the bus rides to and from the venue and in the speaker room.
As much as we stayed connected via Zoom and other technologies these past few years, it just doesn’t compare with the intimacy we feel being in the same room as others.
I got home Saturday night a little after ten and took a shower. I’d put fresh sheets on the bed before I left.
In the old days, I would shower when I got home and lie down on the bed. Kim would join me to welcome me back.
We would lay together and catch up. Sometimes it was intimacy… but mostly it was just intimacy. Laying side by side - sometimes talking - sometimes not.
I have to admit, I almost chose “intimacy…” as my third word - the one with the three dots - but I decided this was a family show and “assist” better captures the idea. For examples, I want to offer three moments have stuck with me since the world cup.
The Final
In the final game France had the ball and was moving down the field. An errant pass was picked of by an Argentinian who tapped it to a teammate.
I promise I’ll keep these sports descriptions to a minimum.
Another pass. Another pass. Another pass. A complete team assist had moved the ball from one end of the field to the other. And then, instead of taking a shot at the goal, one more pass set up the goal.
There were a lot of moments in the world cup final, but that was my favorite. That was team play. That was community.
Each player did the smallest of things but in the aggregate it was huge.
I want to be a part of a team that works together like that.
Mbappe’s Assist
In the semi-final, France’s Mbappe had the ball in front of the goal.
It seemed like every Moroccan defense player had dropped back to guard him.
There was no possible way he could score. And yet, that’s exactly when he does score.
Mbappe watched as man after man defended him and then he saw an open French player and slid the ball in for an assist.
The greatest current player scores plenty. But he also knows that because he’s the best player on the field, his teammates will be open.
At the conference, one of the outstanding speakers shared an article with the other speakers about how to give a great talk.
He offered little tips - with great impact. He could have kept his tips and tricks to himself, but he was there for the assist - and other speakers were better for it.
Messi’s Assist
Mbappe and Messi went back and forth in the final game competing for the golden boot. Two great teams. Two great players. And each knows that they have to be a scoring threat to attract defenders and this means they can look for teammates to pass to.
In Argentina’s semi-final, Messi made a run to the goal with a defender on him.
He stopped. The defender stopped. He turned the defender around and could have gone to the goal but he looked to his left and saw a teammate wide open and passed to him.
I loved that moment because I believe that Messi could have scored but he looked for a teammate instead.
There are so many times that we’re doing well and could go to the goal and finish. Stop, take a moment, and look for someone who could benefit more than you.
My third word is assist. I mean it both in the individual sense of Mbappe and Messi and in the team sense of Argentina.
Essay from Dim Sum Thinking Newsletter 147. Read the rest of the Newsletter or subscribe